• Morgan Fagg

White House Alone

Updated: Dec 3, 2019

Christmas Day is a special day for families to spend time together.

This year, Donald Trump’s third First Family gathered together for the White House’s official photograph and Donald Trump tweeted that he is all alone in the whitest of houses after filming the joyous moment of asking a young kid if he still believes in Santa.

The 7-year-old was probably expecting some kind of normal response on the phone where he thought he was talking with people tracking Santa and not the borderline nuts "Tariff Man."

In a video posted online, Melania Trump looks more like a mannequin for the first 33 seconds before saying, “Hello, good evening” like a robocall which she has since claimed is becoming one of her favourite traditions.

A man with Trump´s history of criminal allegations probably shouldn’t be allowed near children but is he "All Alone" on Christmas Day, as he claims in his tweets? Surely Melania could say, “Hello, Good Evening” to little Donny since she too is in the White House as I am sure are his SS guards.

Even during his Christmas Shut Down, the USSS will have to protect him and his first families and not from a Caravan coming from the Mexican border but from Joe Pesci and the Wet Bandits who break into big houses on Christmas when people are Home Alone.

Most people have outgrown this fear but Joe Pesci once visited New York to commit a series of crimes right by Trump's old house.

Luckily Trump was there to give Macaulay Culkin directions in one of the rare moments where he actually helped another person, albeit all for tv.

This year, as parents place the infant Jesus in his crib on Christmas Day and photographers take official photographs of the First Family (Minus Barron)

many people will be waking up like Catherine O'Hara and realising that the Trump Regime doesn’t actually represent the many children forgotten about at Christmas.

It is time for us to talk about Kevin, I mean Barron and scream out that we have forgotten him after a long list of other things. Did we build the wall? Did Mexico pay for it? Did I show my taxes? KEVIN, I mean Barron.

Whether you are an innocent child locked in a cage by the Trump Administration or forgotten about and all alone like Barron Von Trump, remember the words of Barrack Obama, “Merry Christmas”

Whatever you do, don't say "Happy Holidays" as this is known to enrage the Acting President who feels he is all alone in the White House.

That TIME of the year to wish kids a Merry Christmas and ask if they still believe in Santa Claus.

HERE'S DONNY: How some people imagine the White House. Maybe Barron has the Shining.


Maybe putting a tv actor in the White House wasn't the best idea. Here are some real actors as possible suggestions as president. How about Denzel Washington as President Washington is an awesome name and Denzel is always awesome whether as a good guy or a bad guy. How about his partner from Philadelphia Tom Hanks? Everyone loves T.Hanks and Thomas Jefferson Hanks sounds right for the role. How about Martin Sheen or Morgan Freeman who have played numerous presidents? Hell, even Joe Pesci would make it less obvious that he was robbing the place if he made Danial Stern holding a crowbar, his President of vice.

Trump's Vice, Mike Pence might not believe in Global Warming as God promised never to flood the world again after Noah built the arc but at least Vice President Marv would spell it out for people, "We're the Wet Bandits" and yes this flood in man-made.

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