• Morgan Fagg

Wag The Dog

Updated: Sep 14, 2019

Is it reigning cats and dogs?

While it might be raining dogs in the Bahamas and one brave woman was busy rescuing some 97 dogs from hurricane Dorian just as political handlers in Downing Street were busy finding someone to eat the Prime Minister’s overdue homework.

Enter Dilyn the dog who is offering Boris Johnson some paws for thought as people and the press quickly get distracted by handlers bringing in a puppy in a pink and black pet transporter basket.

I always loved the 1997 film, Wag the Dog which starred Dustin Hoffman and Robert De Niro and I would have called Dilyn the dog, Wag. Wag the Dog is a great name for this political stunt but maybe Boris Johnson's wives and girlfriends don't really want another WAG to compete with.

The phrase "Wag the dog" means that attention is purposely being focused away from something of much greater appearance and I believe the expression comes from the idea that a dog wags its tail but what if you could get the tail to wag the dog instead? This kind of spin might be used all the time but

I can't believe we are living in a time where America has children in cages and a cat in England has a Twitter account.

Larry the Cat, the fury feline face of Downing Street has over 324,000 followers on Twitter and in a topsy-turvy world where the "Land of the Free" is full of children in Concentration Camps just as the American President sends his "Congratulations" to Poland as they remember the 80th anniversary of the Blitzkrieg attack that led to a Nazi invasion and start of World War 2, I am happy to listen to Larry.

@Number10cat was quick to tweet that Downing Street is going to the dogs but the internet wasn’t distracted for very long as Johnson’s Moggy proved he is not yet House trained and the aristocrat went viral for Mogg-spreading on the good green couch as the Prime Minister continued to make a mess and went about his business.

Johnson's lazy Moggy was even offered a pillow in parliament as he was criticised for lying on the couch.

I SEA YA: Sleepy Moggy went viral with images like this IKEA add of the aristocat.

While the Queen is acting quite questionably dealing with democracy, I wonder how long it will be before the elderly head of state knights Larry the Cat for his long service as official mouser to the Cabinet Office. Kind of like Dogdanian and the Three Muskethouds.

Larry the Cat unlike Theresa May and David Cameron before her has survived in Number Ten for years but how many lives does Larry have left?

Larry the Cat deserves the royal treatment like the Queen’s Corgis and if she can prorogue parliament so easily why not give a cat an official title? Others have claimed in the past to have slain dragons so why not promote the loyal mouser to Sir Larry even if he might never have slain a mouse?

Follow him on Twitter and see for yourself, Larry the Cat has given Number Ten credibility despite the rat-infested mess that Larry has not adequately addressed and he has over 324 thousand loyal followers.

Maybe they are looking to Larry’s retirement with Dog Dilyn being introduced but surely it is a Saint Bernard that is needed to help Boris Johnson or at least a guide-dog or two.

Will Lord Larry and the rescue dog fight like Corbyn and Johnson, I mean cats and dogs and will the plan to force-feed the poor dog EU documents finally work as an excuse?

Dilyn the dog has worked wonders to make the new Prime Minister appear less scruffy but surely it is going to take more than one puppy to distract the public.

While Theresa May might have looked like Cruella de Vil, she never actually brought in 101 Dalmatians to her EU negotiations even though it often looked like she was going to claim that her dog had eaten her EU homework as she missed two Brexit deadlines.

Prime Minister May never appealed to me because of her anti-Human Rights stance but the Cruella de Vil resemblance meant that the PM apparently refused to be photographed with dalmatians and a Scottish newspaper even published a cover with a Cruella de Vil image of Theresa May. Maybe she should have hired that husky that says, "I luv u" but spin doctors might have been worried that he luved the E.U.

There is a woman in Nassau called Chella Phillips who sheltered 97 rescue dogs who might be able to help Boris Johnson but as Sterling slides at least the pound will be kept busy selling that doggy in the window.

Maybe Larry should be leading Number Ten himself, maybe the Queen’s Corgis can take over the palace but in this alternative reality where the "Land of the Free", keep children in cages and cats have Twitter accounts, I’m happier for cats and dogs to reign than the "new boy" Boris.

BRITISH BULL DOG: Will Churchill's grandson get to pet the new dog?

HALLOWEEN HOMEWORK: There is a lot to digest before October.

LUVS WHO? Did he say E.U?

NEW DOG SMELL: New dogs can be very disruptive to a household and government.

COUGH GAGS: Larry the Cat makes numerous references to Borris as Homer and Corbyn as Burns.

WAG: Even Kirsten Dunst didn't get a cat in the film Wag the Dog. Check out the classic trailer here.

43 views0 comments