• Morgan Fagg

Tomi Lahren is a one-man police band

Updated: Dec 1, 2019

Rightwing pundit Tomi Lahren offers some comic gold.

Tomi Lahren could re-make a Police Academy film and play half the characters herself, while not as funny as Michael Winslow who played Cadet Larvell, Tomi is a walking dog whistle.

What this siren lacks in sound effects she certainly makes up for by squeaking and shouting like Cadet Laverne Hooks.

Good looks and dangerous, she has the appeal of Sargent Debbie Callahan but sadly she has a bigger hard-on for guns and violence than Cadet Tackleberry ever had.

Sadly this film is more vitriol and baloney than Mahoney and Tomi is more likely to cause a riot by throwing something out there to incite hatred than the original film’s storyline where a cop throwing away an apple from their police car hits someone by accident.

Since Tomi is more like The Man in the High Castle than Cadet Hightower, I think we could always ask Colin Kaepernick to play Mosses Hightower as his character saves the day when two sycophants lose their police-issued guns while showing off to a criminal.

I guess a good guy without a gun can save the day.

HIGHS & LOWS: Amazon's The Man in the High Castle series imagines an America where the Nazis won the war.

In the original film, Cadet Hightower lost his job by sticking up for the little guy, well his little woman, Cadet Hooks.

At 1.93m tall Colin Kaepernick almost measures up to our hero Moses Hightower who was played by the 2.01m actor Bubba Smith who himself was a football player before he turned to acting.

The law loving Fox & Friends commentator is quick to defend the in-defendable and attack the righteous, her mission is not to Moscow but to sell her brand and before you think you want to get-in-her-pants, remember her "Freedom" Yoga Pants (which allow women to carry their guns in comfort while they work out,) are apparently made in China.

This fact provided another comic moment for people like me who follow her online rants and you can start to see why she is known as Racist Barbie.

Her latest attack is AGAIN at a teenage girl who is single-handedly trying to make the world aware of Climate Change after President Trump decided to tear up the Paris Agreement which every other country, I believe, has signed up to. Including N Korea.

A mural of the teenager was painted in America to the utter outrage of "Dollface" who tweeted that a mural should have been painted to a law enforcement officer who has actually done something for America.

In a previous statement, she attacked actor and activist Leonardo di Caprio for teaming up with the Climate Change activist Greta Thunberg.

People were quick to point out that such murals actually exist but for me, I wonder what “Crocodile tears” she is crying when Republicans were so quick to forget those first responders who died on 911 and those who continue to die as a result.

Never Forget real heroes but let’s stop the Police Academy crap. Get out from under the podium and stop polishing Republican speeches.

Comedian Jon Steward has done more to address the needs of first responders affected by the terrorist attacks in New York on September 11th 2001 than any Republican I can think of and comedian Jim Carey has beautifully captured this event in one of his paintings.

I don’t think Racist Barbie wants Jim Carey’s mural of Jon Steward but "Yuge" changes are needed to Make America Great Again and starting with the training in police academies is probably a good place to begin.

The police continually shoot minorities in the wrong and without sufficient cause and like Police Academy sequels, I’m sorry but it's not funny and we need to take either a knee or a stand against it. Just like Colin Kaepernick has done which has seriously upset the whiney snowflake who frequently attacks the African American athlete.

Tolerating police brutality is either racist or ignorant and only damages the good people and good departments that serve and protect their community and unlike Police Academy it is a mockery of what people expect and want from law enforcement.

But I'm sure Tomi has some Final Thoughts about this.

BUILDING BRIDGES: Tomi brings Republicans, NRA and Fox & Friends together.

RISE ABOVE: More comic gold as Lahren suggests people "Build the Wall" and then get over it.

FULL OF CRAP: Let's hope that the mean-spirited authoritarian can stop talking out of her ass.

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