• Morgan Fagg

The Brexit Avenger

Updated: Oct 14, 2019

Marvel's Union Jack meets their first avenger but the UK will need something to avenge first.

Captain America The First Avenger began with a puny man wanting to fight for his country against the Nazis and after being injected with a super serum to give him super strength, Captain America moved onto punching Adolf Hitler in the face in a series of staged performances to entertain the troops which referenced the original cartoon comic book.

Captain America then went on to take down Red Skull which was played by Australian actor Hugo Weaving and Captain America played by Chris Evans then heroically ditched his plane in the ice to save his city and other American/GLOBAL cities.

Frozen in the ice it would be decades before the First Avenger could join the rest of the team.

Ready to die in a ditch, Boris Johnson sounds like it he needs to cool off before trying to punch the German Chancellor in the face and 75 years on from the invasion of Poland, I am not sure if people think punching Angela Merkel in the face is the right stunt for Boris Johnson’s America First approach.

Captain England might feel invincible but he is not captaining a children’s rugby team but attacking the European Union which has shown itself to be the most peaceful force with their very own Dr Bruce Banner character played by Angela Merkel.

Unlike the cartoon version, our Bruce Banner has not carelessly been nuked with gamma radiation and if she had been, she would most likely would not have survived even though the physicist has proven herself a survivor when it comes to tackling politics and neo-nazis in Germany.

Boris Johnson has me asking one question this morning as I read the headlines about his Hulk references, how does the Incredible Hulk keep his hair under control when Boris Johnson clearly can’t even get that much under control.

Boris Johnson might be a “Puny” human trying to take over the world but unlike the actors who have been fortunate enough to play the Avengers and have made a fortune doing so, Boris Johnson has neither strengthened his position nor won over anybody in his comparison to the Hulk.

In fact, E.U. leaders are probably expecting Boris Johnson to appear in his Spider-Man pyjamas threatening to throw a big red bus at them.

Boris Johnson doesn’t do a convincing Hulk impression and has been schooled online by Mark Ruffalo who plays the Hulk in the Avenger films but the Bristish Prime Minister did pull of a Hallow Man, Invisible Woman impression at the Press Conference in Luxembourg. LAST MONDAY.

Due to the noise of protestors outside the venue, Johnson thought it best not to try and communicate at the noisy venue as that wouldn’t be fair to his hosts. Regardless, the Luxembourg leader had no difficulty communicating Boris Johnson’s vanishing act.

Back home, English people will be watching Hugo Weaving as V for Vendetta and wondering how much longer until they all storm parliament in their Guy Fawkes masks and demand change.

Hopefully Greta Thunberg can take her invisible jet over to the UK but as we all know, Wonder Woman is a DC creation and Thunberg is currently protesting in front of the White House in DC while the “Puny” Prime Minister threatens to get mad.

Sadly for future generations like Greta Thunberg, Johnson’s Green New Deal comes straight from the funny pages and even Thor, the God of Thunder for many Europeans, fears the Yellowhammer report.

Captain America’s sequel was entitled The Winter Soldier which lead to a third film Civil War.

Skipping Act II, Boris Johnson seems to be heading straight for Civil War where people in the UK are being polarised between the Liberal, Conservative, Remoaner, Brexiteer camps.

Civil War is rarely civil and brothers have fought brothers in the past which makes me wonder how long it will be until Joe Johnson MP says:

"He may be mad but he is of England and he’s my brother.

Well, half brother, I resigned as his brother. He’s adopted."

Actress Natalie Portman might be running from the arms of Thor and into the red ether or following V as the Red Skull actor who also played Agent Smith in the Matrix, leads a revolution against the British government on Bon fire night.

Whatever horrors Halloween holds for us, I wonder if we will remember the 5th of November and the Gun Powder plot on Bon Fire night.

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