• Morgan Fagg

Ronald Francis Pearlman for President!

Ron Pearlman for President, Hell yeah

It is no secret that Ron Perlman wants to be president but has he tried making a pact with the devil to secure the nomination?

Is he a Republican or Democrat or spawn of satan, I don't know but I do like the cut of his jib.

Ron "Hellboy" Perlman might not be a well known actor but his career does span, theatre, television and film and within these roles he has played or voiced many cartoonish characters but for me the cigar smoking Hellboy star just represents common decency and his Twitter attacks on President Trump show that he is by current standards, dare I say presidentially.

That's right, Ronald Francis sounds presidential and with a acting background and Twitter following where he attacks the current president, he only needs to ask for Donald Trump's long form Earth Cert and start an Earther movement and people will know he is serious about politics.

I see the New Yorker more as some kind of sci-fi Russian superhero after some of the roles he has played such as a Soviet soldier in Enemy at the Gates with Jude Law but at least he never broke any laws dealing with the Russians or opened the gates to hell such as his character Hellboy was born to do.

Hellboy is not a worry to me as the current incumbent seems hellbent on destroying the environment while at the same time signing bibles and telling people he is the second coming.

Interesting how some of those signed bibles have gone on sale for $666 and that the planet seems to have plunged into a fiery hell where both The Amazon and Artic are on fire.

Trump might be the second coming but the planet keeps getting hotter and I would rather Hellboy handles the flames than the go for broke casino owner.

Hellboy is joined by Abe Sapien and an FBI handler and Abe I guess is some kind of Merman who takes his name from Abraham Lincoln as the fish creature was discovered on the day that Lincoln died.

At least Hellboy can work with the FBI and it is great to see President George W Bush's quote fulfilled,

“I know the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully.”

Not sure what to take from that Bushism quote about peacefully co-existing but I do belief that Republicans shouldn't be elected solely on the Electoral College until all the votes have been hand counted. Defeated by Obama in 2012, Republican Mormon and former presidential candidate Mitt Romney might also appreciate that Hellboy is a friend to Mermen everywhere.

Hellboy's parents come from Jewish families so I wonder what his family thinks about Trump's claims that he is the King of Israel and the Second Coming? Pearlman's proud family must be pleased with his iconic roles depicted here in a Mount Rushmore of some of his characters from Hellboy, Beauty & the Beast, Blade II, Sons of Anarchy, Star Trek Nemesis, Hand of God and Alien Resurrection.

This vampire, sniper, alien fighting Hellboy could be the answer to America's problems. Maybe Bikers for Trump can follow a different Son of Anarchy, maybe the NRA can get behind the gun slinger and vampire fans follow this Blade star. Maybe Brett Kavanaugh can support an actor who plays an unethical judge and Mike Pence can follow a man he thinks doesn't have a reflection in the mirror.

Maybe occultists accused of casting spells on Trump can get behind Hellboy and we can finally stop this witch hunt and maybe this little Lion-man can ask his Beauty-full friend Linda Hamilton to get the Terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger to help governate.

Maybe female voters will support the horny devil Hellboy over the the horny devil they know and maybe animal lovers will appreciate the pussy rescuing superhero Hellboy over the "Locker-room" talking pussy grabbing Enemy at the Watergate.

Better the Hellboy we know and love than "The King of Israel and Second Coming" who supports the Brazilian government's deforestation of the Rainforests.


Seriously if you have the time, check out Ron Pearlman's Larry King interview and see if you wouldn't prefer a more articulate leader if we are all on our way to the gates of hell.

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