• Morgan Fagg

Demolition Woman

You've seen her swap spit with the Italian stallion Sylvester Stalone in Demolition Man and you've seen her send George Clooney into orbit in Gravity, I am of course talking about the one and only Bullock in a Chinese space station, destroyer of worlds, Sandra Bullock.

No matter how you commute about the planet, Bullock will run it over or set it on fire even in the vacuum of space. Boats, buses and spacecraft. Forget sending Sigourney Weaver to fight Aliens in the future, send this Bullock in a China shop instead.

Don't get me wrong, everyone loves Sandra Bullock but I wouldn't exactly want to take a relaxing cruise with her. This is a woman who even makes riding the bus exciting after all.

Stay on or get off, Sandra Bullock has sealed her faith as the last woman on earth you want to spend anytime in space with. I hope Hollywood never puts her and Matt Damon on Mars together because no about of science shit would get him home then. His Ocean's 11 co-star Clooney was certainly left behind, floating in space.

I was just reading recently about how Ernest Hemingway suffered two plane crashes in Africa, where he survived a plane crash only to be more seriously injured being airlifted away from the first crash in the second accident. Hemingway once said in 1935 that,

"All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn," so I wonder if he got to use the famous Mark Twain quote, "Rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated" when journalists travelled to cover the story of his death.

No amount of writing could save Sandra Bullock's leading men and even Keanu Reeves didn't catch the next bus in Speed 2.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles, the 2013 film Gravity sees Miss Bullock start off in a shuttle despite shuttles being scrapped and retired to museums back in 2011.

Onboard the fictional shuttle "Explorer" things start to go horribly wrong and continue to do so every 90 minutes as the various space stations and spacecraft she is onboard, collide with a Russian satellite's debris as she completes a rotation of the Earth.

Just think, in the time it takes an astronaut to watch a movie, they will have travelled around the Earth, well that is if Demolition Woman leaves anything up there of course.

From the fictional space shuttle, Bullock can be seen high above Ireland as Europe comes into view.

George Clooney is busy flying around with a jetpack and talking nonsense.

I was told a few weeks ago at the European Space Station's Test Centre that, "Every space walk is dangerous" so I wonder should they really start the film with three astronauts are outside the shuttle goofing around?

Thanks to Star Trek fans, the very first space shuttle was named Enterprise even though the prototype spacecraft never went into actual service but I can imagine even the fictional crew of the Enterprise wouldn't like to see Ms Bullock take down every American, Russian and Chinese wessel in space.

Maybe we should just stay clear of The Demolition Woman and giver her her space.

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