National Lampoon's European Vacation
Updated: Dec 5, 2020
I have to hand it to President Trump, he read his statements in England very well yesterday.
One area that I did find troublesome, of course, apart from his divorce advice, was his border stance. In fact his trip reminded me of the Griswolds family's European Vacation.
Chevy Chase as an actor could say anything on cue, and try to lie his way out of everything especially as Clark Griswold in National Lampoons' series of four Vacation films such as Christmas Vacation and European Vacation.
While I have never seen Vegas Vacation, it is hard to imagine anyone doing worse in a casino than Donald Trump did in Atlantic City.
In the American context, in makes sense for the family patriarch, Clark Griswold, played by President Trump to talk about how great borders are but Europeans, for the most part, don't want borders in either Berlin or Belfast.
Yes he can advocate his political agenda against Mexico but after telling the Irish Prime Minister three times about how great the border in Ireland was going to be, he was corrected that Ireland doesn't want to return to a border situation in Northern Ireland and Trump in pure Clark Griswold fashion did a complete 180º and said yes the situation at the moment is great.
Trump said that Brexit was about immigration and securing borders and I think there was a lot of fears about immigrants coming to England which might be more Fake News from Nigel Farage than fact but never the less, Brexit voters had immigration on their mind.
The trouble is, Brexit might mean the creation of a border in Northern Ireland where none has been needed for 20 years as part of the E.U.
Just like Trump has manufactured a crisis at America's Southern border where no crisis would have existed without his election campaign, Brexit has created huge problems.
Brexit could mean one of two serious consequences, one, Northern Ireland waves goodbye to Great Britain and joins Great Ireland or more likely a Berlin Wall style border becomes inevitable in Northern Ireland to separate the UK from the EU.
We have already lived through a troublesome period with a border in which more people died during The Troubles than during the 911 terrorist attacks in New York. There are other options of course but Brexit could mean that Scotland seeks independence and yesterday I read that Welsh people wanted to remain in the E.U.
President Trump told reporters in London that Britain needed to secure its borders before flying to a country that doesn't share his enthusiasm for British borders.
Maybe checkpoints and road closures will start cropping up all over the North but I'm not sure if Irish families share his interest in borders.
He suggested that Theresa May sue Europe and said that he wouldn't pay the divorce bill. Everyone laughed when he said she was probably a better negotiator than he is but how could Theresa May sue Europe? Is that even a possibility? Has Trump countersued so many times that he thinks that is normal in a divorce?
I don't know but Donald J Trump continued his European Vacation with the children from his first two marriages and was joined by his third wife who forgot to bring their teenage son, KEVIN, I mean BARRON to Europe and left him home alone.
While Chevy Chase didn't star in Home Alone, acting President Donald J Trump did appear in the sequel Home Alone II, Lost in New York.
Europe can play happy families a lot better than Trump can play golf but there is a reason the Griswolds aren't welcome to stay in Buckingham Palace and that politicians in England and Ireland haven't had time to be photographed with President Trump.
Europe is like an umbrella that shelters as much of the community as possible. Where deals are done under one main currency and co-operation is enjoyed much more than it was when Germans arrived early and took all the space on a Normandy beach, as if they owned the place.
Germany and France and England will all remember the events of 75 years ago hoping that history won't repeat itself while a man who doesn't know how to use an actual umbrella, should check that his teenage son hasn't done a Boy in the Striped Pyjamas and wandered into one of his disgusting "Summer Camps" to play with all the other children.
Thanks to the Griswolds' One finger policy, people are free to say Merry Christmas again which was something nobody felt comfortable doing in June under either Barrack Obama or Adolf Hitler.
How the world has changed since General Eisenhower played an uphill game of golf in Normandy, 75 years ago.
THE LONGEST DAY: President Trump seems to have a harder time taking the beach in Doonbeg than President Eisenhower had taking Normandy.