• Morgan Fagg

BREXIT: 50 days to Article 50


Imagine if your landlord told you that you had 50 days to find a new place and move out.

Not nice and could be a problem if you have kids in a nearby school. If you have a car you can move everything by car but you might have difficulty finding a new parking space if in a big city.

Seven weeks, the honeymoon is over and Theresa May has only 50 days to figure out how people are going to commute to work and park their car companies if they wish to sell cars to mainland Europe.

On Thursday, 7th of February, a Spanish friend was asking me to explain the complicated situation with BREXIT and Northern Ireland. I described how complicated the situation is by asking her to imagine organising a wedding in 50 days.

I asked her to pick a date around the weekend of Friday March 29th and she picked April Fools’ Day and I questioned if Monday is a good day for guests as most people have work. She then suggested Sunday the 30th and I questioned if Sunday is a good day for the church as they will have mass on Sunday. Third time is the charm and we agreed on Saturday.

Now to invite guests, receive their responses in time and organise accommodation and a venue for the 60 plus million people effected by this union who must be invited.

If anyone has any reason to object to this Union, you have had over two years to throw a spanner in the cake and 3500 soldiers will be made ready for this shotgun wedding as Theresa May asks Europe for more time.

I have never organised a wedding nor have

I any immediate wedding plans despite proposing to my girlfriend exactly 2 years ago but with family everywhere but Madrid, the logistics of organising something where we live becomes very difficult, very quickly.

How will Theresa May feed 60 million people? Have the police contacted KFC about their chicken supplies and logistics or will we see yoke on their face like last February when 700 KFC restaurants had to close down over a weekend as they had no chicken which caused calamity for customers who started calling the police about the problem.

What about more complicated things like Nuclear Waste? Aviation, both the transportation and the manufacture of Airbus planes. Borders and permission to cross them. Rome wasn’t built in a day so what happens when people find a border being built in Northern Ireland? Which side will they choose to be on if they live and work on two different sides?

Crossing the channel also becomes a nightmare if tailbacks and inspections increase the hours/days that a driver spends delivering goods.

The good news is that England wont have to comply with all of the E.U.’s regulations on the manufacture of goods. They can simply refuse to sell their goods to Europe.

England will try to sell more to Asia instead of Europe but the figures don’t stack up very well at the moment. 4 million Irish people are buying 17 billion pounds of goods from England but a billion Chinese are only buying a few million from England.

Maybe England can start selling them sweat shop goods like t-shirts and trainers even cheaper than they can be manufactured in Asia because I don’t think England has realised that China will make whatever you want and at a fraction of the price of the original product.

We want to invite 27 guests and hope that none of them object to the Union.

We want to serve English Champagne of course even if there is no such thing.

We want to accommodate everyone with one menu

We want to Honeymoon away from England of course

and we haven’t applied for a marriage licence

We are 50 days from the most memorable day of our lives and we all hope to live happily ever after. There is no shortage of photographers for the event but will we cherish their photo albums?

You are cordially invited to this big event

Please RSVP well before March 29th

Looting and financial crash to follow

B.Y.O.C., Bring your own Champagne

& Dancing till late

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